Repeat Offender: Rihanna

Repeat offender!

This is basically the opposite of that awful jumpsuit I derided recently. Rather than being slutty and short, it's long and high-necked with long sleeves. And that pattern! It makes her look quite wide, to be honest, and we all know that Rihanna is a seriously skinny girl. This dress hugs everywhere it needs to hang loosely, and hangs loosely everywhere it needs to hug. Speaking of hugs, I need a hug after all of this disillusionment with Rihanna lately. Rihanna, on the other hand, is getting a serious time-out for this atrocity.

Rihanna

Rihanna truly has multiple personalities when it comes to style. One day, she can wear a classy yet painfully stylish gown, and the next day...

It's a jumpsuit. A black, lacy, turtle-neck jumpsuit, and it's shorter than your average hot pants. And hot pants are very short to begin with. Of course she has the legs, etc., but this is too revealing. I would complain about it being a jumpsuit- and I do complain (it's a fricking JUMPSUIT!)- but then, what if it were a mini-dress? At least, this way she won't have any Britney moments, even if she will be dealing with some major camel toe the entire night.

I might be in the minority, but I love Rihanna's super-short hair, and her berry lips. Her shoes are fab, of course. But I can never forgive this belted, feathered- look at the sleeves!- monstrosity.

The winner/loser!

The results are in, ladies and gentlemen, and the readers of Fashion Poirot believe that Rihanna's outfit was the worst of 2007!

This outfit won with 30% of the votes. Click here for the original post, and thanks for reading and voting! Come back tomorrow for more fashion victims...

The Nominees!

Since there weren't enough reader nominees for the worst look of 2007, I took it upon myself to choose them alone. These are put in no particular order. All of these ladies showed either too much or too little skin, the wrong colors or the wrong cuts. In any case, each of them made a serious fashion faux pas. Scroll through the nominees and then vote for your least favorite in the poll in the sidebar at the right! I'll announce the winners on Jan. 1, 2008.

1. Kate Walsh



2. Sheryl Crow



3. Courtney Love


4. Zac Efron


5. Leighton Meister


6. Thandie Newton's Headpiece


7. Rihanna

8. Rumer Willis

9. Jennifer Morrison
10. Fergie

Rihanna

On the old Fashion Poirot, I once mentioned Rihanna's ballerina-gone-dominatrix concert outfit. I'd hoped that particular fashion disaster had been left in the past. Apparently not.

I just don't get it. Why? Why? God knows her songs aren't of the heavy-metal, ridiculously sexed-up kind- at least not all of them. Sexy is one thing, but this is way too much. At least she lost the tutu-like thing she had last time. I could handle the boots and arm warmers, but the corset/bra/hot pants/thing with all of the buckles and straps...is just plain disturbing.

And a pity, too, because off-stage, Rihanna dresses beautifully. So I can only assume that she has some wacko, deranged fashion consultant for concert wear only. A word of advice: FIRE HIM/HER IMMEDIATELY.

American Music Awards Terror: Rihanna

Recently, Rihanna has been irking me. She often dresses quite elegantly, and she's nothing if not fashion-forwards...but I find myself wishing that she would dress her age, sometimes. She's only 19! There's no need for medieval torture devices like this:


To be completely fair, I don't see how this could work at any age. It's almost like Armani (yes, this is Armani) got lazy with the bodice. Or Rihanna forgot to pull it up. Actually, the more I stare at it, the more it looks like a vest. This was supposed to be a sexy, blinged-out boardroom ensemble! Only Rihanna spilled ketchup on her shirt and was running late, so threw caution- and her bra- to the winds, and decided to do without. The skirt's pretty bad, too, and I don't even want to see a close-up of that mini-glove on her right hand.

Worst of all, her shoes are utterly adorable.

Beyonce's Boots

Oh my. Those look a bit painful.

To be honest, these remind me of those brass knuckles that thugs/gangsters carry around to increase the productivity of their fists. To put it mildly. I mean, seriously. The heel curves inward and is ribbed like a conch shell. Why does Beyonce feel the need to terrorize us with these? I mean, some of her super-tight, shimmering, chain-mail style gowns have been scary enough. Just Jared informs us that Rihanna wore these earlier this summer. I'm beginning to feel unsafe. Is this how singers are going to exact revenge on us and paparazzi? Should we, the general public, hire bodyguards lest we be mauled by an angry chanteuse's boots? Are you as scared as I am?