Thursday, January 24, 2008

Lucy Liu

Dear god.

What is there to say? The Valentino dress underneath is actually quite lovely.'s an "accordion wrap". It looks like the inside of a mammoth's large intestines, all pink and billowy. I'm sure it swishes and bounces unattractively whenever she dares to breathe.

I feel queasy and need to go lie down now. Ugh.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Claire Danes

Don't get me wrong, this dress is quite lovely.

But it's amazingly unflattering on Claire. This shade is the worst shade possible; it matches both her skin and her hair, and washes her out terribly. The length makes it rather dowdy, and the overlapping bodice looks just a little odd. So I applaud your effort, Claire, but go for something that doesn't make you look like a beige ghost next time. Please!

Zac Efron

I know I've sworn never to speak of this again.

But I'm weak.

Dear god! He's a veritable Britney. PLEASE STOP FLASHING US, ZAC! Thank you.