Rihanna

Rihanna truly has multiple personalities when it comes to style. One day, she can wear a classy yet painfully stylish gown, and the next day...

It's a jumpsuit. A black, lacy, turtle-neck jumpsuit, and it's shorter than your average hot pants. And hot pants are very short to begin with. Of course she has the legs, etc., but this is too revealing. I would complain about it being a jumpsuit- and I do complain (it's a fricking JUMPSUIT!)- but then, what if it were a mini-dress? At least, this way she won't have any Britney moments, even if she will be dealing with some major camel toe the entire night.

I might be in the minority, but I love Rihanna's super-short hair, and her berry lips. Her shoes are fab, of course. But I can never forgive this belted, feathered- look at the sleeves!- monstrosity.

Monique Coleman

Having never seen High School Musical 2 (again! I know.) , or for that matter, H.S.M. 1, I don't know much about Monique Coleman. Perhaps her vocals rival those of Aretha, or her acting will win her an Oscar someday soon.

She won't be winning any fashion awards on my watch, anyway.


Monique is not a stick-thin Hollywood waif, and thank god, because we have enough of those already. However, there is such a thing as flattering oneself, which she doesn't seem to have heard of. Also, there is such a thing as a dress, and there is such a thing as a shirt. Usually, "shirts" are worn with pants or a skirt under them. This garment seems to be edging into crotch-flashing, you-better-be-wearing-panties territory. Not to mention the hideous print. It's like a fashion Rorschach test: you can analyze your fashion sanity by measuring how revolted you are by it. And the shoes...tan? Really? Having already boldly- and stupidly- bypassed all logic and combined pink and black with white, she adds tan granny-colored shoes? I'm too sickened to speak...

Paris Hilton

FOR GOD'S SAKE, WOMAN, THAT IS NOT A DRESS.


No amount of squats and other butt-enhancing exercises can save this outfit. It is doomed to the sad halls of memorably bad fashion. Along with Paris herself, of course.

Paris Hilton

I know, I know, what should I expect? Paris Hilton's Halloween costume was never going to be classy. I understand that.



But what INFURIATES me is that she had the GALL to say that she is "supporting our troops" with her "patriotic" costume.

Excusez-moi?

Listen to me, Paris, darling. Sweetie. Honey. Your costume is not patriotic. It's slutty, stupid, revealing, and worst of all, offensive.

Capiche?