Rihanna

On the old Fashion Poirot, I once mentioned Rihanna's ballerina-gone-dominatrix concert outfit. I'd hoped that particular fashion disaster had been left in the past. Apparently not.

I just don't get it. Why? Why? God knows her songs aren't of the heavy-metal, ridiculously sexed-up kind- at least not all of them. Sexy is one thing, but this is way too much. At least she lost the tutu-like thing she had last time. I could handle the boots and arm warmers, but the corset/bra/hot pants/thing with all of the buckles and straps...is just plain disturbing.

And a pity, too, because off-stage, Rihanna dresses beautifully. So I can only assume that she has some wacko, deranged fashion consultant for concert wear only. A word of advice: FIRE HIM/HER IMMEDIATELY.

Fergie

Dearest Fergie,


We get it, already. You think you're hot. We should too. You bear absolutely zero, zero, ZERO resemblance to a man. But there are more subtle ways of sending such messages. This looks like a Victorian torture instrument-like corset gone very wrong. Especially with that chain-mail bag...it's all very Spanish Inquisition. I'm a little bit scared, actually. You're a walking Iron Maiden. And you're frightening everybody around you.

Ashley Tisdale

Ugh. Lately, I feel like Fashion Poirot has turned into High-School-Musical-Poirot. (Zac Efron, anyone?). But I really can't pass up something like this.



This is terrible. Awful. It's a real corset- with ties in the back and everything. I truly feel that corsets should be reserved for period dramas set in the Victorian Era, or for the privacy of your own bedroom. But this one goes farther than that: it's sparkly and multi-colored. And layered over a black tank. And paired with hideous shoes that might have looked good on paper...but ended up awful on poor Ashley's feet.

On a side note, though, those are some fab jeans. But I think it might be time for another visit to the hair salon, no?