Saturday, January 19, 2008

Erykah Badu

I've already heard a lot about how this girl has her own, signature style. How she's lovely and unique and all of that wonderful stuff.


I'm all for standing out and not fitting in, but as a member of the fashion law-enforcement community, I can't commend her to this. Seriously. The hair! It's eating her head! There's got to be enough hair there to make at least 100 nice, respectable wigs. And the glasses. I'm pretty sure Erykah (did I spell that right?) has a lovely face underneath everything, but it's rather hard to tell. The sweater's kind of cute in a demure way, but the leggings must go. Honestly. If Lindsay Lohan can't pull them off, I'm pretty sure nobody can.

(I do strangely like the shoes, but I think that's a little off-topic.)

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Blake Lively

Blake Lively usually looks pretty chic and sunny, on- and off-screen. So what's going on here?

Is this for a role? Did she wander off the set and, in a bout of exhaustion, forget to change her costume? Sadly, I think not. This looks like a mix of what a Victorian-era widow might wear and the sort of shirt Britney might wear. The sleeves look as though they were ripped off by someone- or something- and the bodice is partly sheer and striped. Her hair seems to be falling out of its up-do in the back, and her shoes have rosettes on them. Blake has great style, normally. Is this a joke? Honestly?

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Seth Green

As I occasionally do, I've singled out a male celebrity for today's arrest.

And it's not pretty.

This is so wrong that I feel overwhelmed. The porn-y mustache that appears to be slowly yet steadily eating his lip away...the mascara (possibly)...the mustache...It's all too much to bear. I need to go lie down for a couple of days now. Maybe someday this horrific image will leave my mind; I'm an optimist...

Sunday, January 13, 2008

SPECIAL POST: Jennifer Morrison

As faithful and thorough readers of Fashion Poirot know, I have a weakness for the show House, and its cast. Thus, whenever I am obligated to critique their fashion missteps, I feel the need to address it in a "SPECIAL POST". I don't know why. It just makes me feel less harsh. And I like seeing these under-appreciated actors get special treatment (they lost at the Globes!), as they so rarely do.

Why, Jen? Why must you do this to me? I'm only too ready to sing Dr. Cameron's praises when the rest of the world calls her a sniveling little girl, and for the most part, I've loved your recent fashion transformation. For the most part.

I love the makeup. I've gotten used to the hair. But the dress! If it were figure-hugging and mini, it would be a nice shimmery dress. But it's loose and drape-y with those odd sleeves that try and fail to be flapper-esque. It washes you out and the neckline cuts off your long neck, while the below-the-knee length and granny shoes (that don't match) make it even more dowdy. This is like a bad parody of the knock-out silver dress you wore to the Emmys! Come on, Jennifer. You can do better than this.

Tyra Banks

I get that this is stylish and fashionable and brave...but it's also hideous and disturbing.

Oh, Tyra, why? The dress itself is odd enough, but the bizarre feathery accent placed over the bursting cleavage makes it ugly beyond belief. It's ill-fitting at the top and looks as if it's about to fall down- a terrifying thought, indeed. The hair and makeup are flawless, but the dress is inexcusable, Tyra. There's a fine line between fashion-forward and ridiculous, and I believe you've crossed it here.