SAG Awards Terror: Sandra Oh

In the past couple of days, I've read loads about how this is a traditional Korean dress and all. All right. That's cool. But that doesn't make it magically become attractive in the least!

The color combination...the odd material...but most of all, the absolutely ill-fitting pepto-bismol colored bow! The dress is simultaneously dowdy and about to expose her chest completely. Is she pregnant? Seriously? Because everyone's pregnant nowadays, and that's the only reason I can think of for choosing such an unflattering shape of dress. And Angelina totally pulled it off; she looked fabulous in that brownish sheet she wore. But Sandra? Never, ever, ever do this again. Seriously.

Courtney Cox

This is...wow. I'm speechless.

Has Courtney Cox really just pulled a Britney? I mean, she is wearing a sheer, lacy shirt with just a bra underneath? I think she looks amazingly young and dresses nicely, for the most part, so how could she commit such a crime? Did she honestly not notice? Maybe her electricity was out or something. At least we can then blame the mysterious figure behind her for letting her out in front of the paparazzi wearing such a hideous thing. This is a fashion crime of the worst kind, and I hope that Courtney learns her lesson and doesn't commit it again.

Fergie

Dearest Fergie,


We get it, already. You think you're hot. We should too. You bear absolutely zero, zero, ZERO resemblance to a man. But there are more subtle ways of sending such messages. This looks like a Victorian torture instrument-like corset gone very wrong. Especially with that chain-mail bag...it's all very Spanish Inquisition. I'm a little bit scared, actually. You're a walking Iron Maiden. And you're frightening everybody around you.

Zac Efron, AGAIN!

Ok, Zac. I was ready to give you a second chance. But we don't tolerate repeat offenders here at Fashion Poirot.

You're going to JAIL!!!

(Or at least, F.P.'s equivalent. We will never speak of you again.)

Maggie Q

I love animals. I love animal societies, and people who are part of them. Really, I do.

But being kind to other species does not permit being this cruel to the eyes and computer screens of your own species, Maggie.


Yes, I know, you're part of the whole new sell-kindness-with-sex thing. I get it. But WE CAN SEE YOUR BRA. ALL OF IT. Plus, I don't like the rosettes on your shoes. I'm fine with sexy clothes...but wardrobe malfunctions? Or, at least, what appear to be wardrobe malfunctions? No.

Most amusing, I think, is that this party is called the Lint Roller Party. Lint roller? Really?

Avril Lavigne

I was having a mildly depressing day today- boring stuff at work, grumpy spouse, blah blah blah- until I came across this picture.

OK, yes, this is the princess of gothy/punky/emo/god-knows-what fashion herself. Avril Lavigne, age 24, leader of teen-rebellion couture. (A little detour here: isn't she getting a little too old for that stuff?)

But I still get a kick out of seeing her demented, absurd version of what normal people would call formal wear:



Oh boy. Fishnets? Ok, in some situations. Like, not-awards-show situations. And that dress- ha! It truly made my day. It's plaid! It's crumpled! It's shapeless, strapless, and is threatening to slip and disrobe Ms. Lavigne at any given moment! It has ruffles and bows and god-knows-whats, and a black tulle lining with a mind of its own!

And the shoes! Gold, and bejeweled, and sparkly, and shiny! I'm about to faint from delight. Avril has cheered me up to no end.