Sunday, January 13, 2008

Tyra Banks

I get that this is stylish and fashionable and brave...but it's also hideous and disturbing.

Oh, Tyra, why? The dress itself is odd enough, but the bizarre feathery accent placed over the bursting cleavage makes it ugly beyond belief. It's ill-fitting at the top and looks as if it's about to fall down- a terrifying thought, indeed. The hair and makeup are flawless, but the dress is inexcusable, Tyra. There's a fine line between fashion-forward and ridiculous, and I believe you've crossed it here.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Hilary Duff

This outfit was almost rather cute. But I think you know what I'm going to say.


The leggings. I can live with the opaque ones, as long as they're paired with a TOP, but these feeble, sheer ones are just too much to bear. The coat is a little odd but cute, and I lust after that bag and those shoes. And the dress...I can't really comment on it because it's covered up, but from the small part I can see, it's much too short. So I'm justified in proclaiming that this outfit is a small misdemeanor. Next time, Ms. Duff, I won't let you get away with this. Go back to your classy and stylish looks of late.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Keira Knightley

Once again, the cover photo demons strike again. Keira's EW cover is beautiful and sexy. But this?

Somebody has done some terrible photo-shopping here, because she looks like a man. That's really the gentlest way to put it. And she's normally very lovely, dainty and feminine, so I think that the team at W magazine takes all the blame. I guess they told her to look as comatose as possible, as that sleepy stare is far from the sultry one in the aforementioned EW cover photo. And the outfit...my god. I like denim, sure, and there's nothing wrong with a denim jacket, but what's with the sleeves? Her thin arms look deformed with those monsters sprouting atop them. And denim bras are NEVER, ever, ever a good idea, especially paired with a jacket and nothing else.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Megan Fox

I'm not particularly counting the days towards the "Sarah Connor..." premiere, but I might watch it. After all, Megan fox is cute, right?

But the outfit...oh, boy. First, the boots. These are very tough boots to pull off; I feel like the color is making them pretty near-impossible to wear. But the dress is bad enough by itself; it's ill-fitting and SHEER. Sheer mini-dresses are always a bad move, especially when you feel a sudden urge to throw on random bangles (why is it shoved up near her elbow?) and cheap-looking beads. Resist these urges, for the good of mankind. However, her makeup and hair is fresh and nice, if a little shiny, but those premieres must be physically grueling, what with all of the posing and walking, so I'll let that slide.



Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Hayden Panettiere

Now, Hayden is about as cute as you can get, if a little generic, and she has a great, mature sense of style, for the most part.

However, this outfit isn't QUITE right. I think the problem lies somewhere in the white stripe (an underlying tank top?) at the neckline, and the pockets. The former, because it ruins an elegant, simple dress by adding one layer too many, and the latter...because they ironically create a faintly unflattering shape, right next to the headline "Look Instantly Slimmer!". Well, I hope that wearing tight pencil skirts with large front pockets is not one of the phenomenal tips.

Monday, January 7, 2008

Heath Ledger

This is one of those pictures that I put away for a rainy day, when there are no fresh fashion disasters, because I know this kind of crime against humanity will never get old.

My god. I have nothing against guys trying out stripes or bright colors or whatnot, but this is simply frightening. If the new Batman movie hadn't already been filmed, I would have thought Heath was in costume as the Joker. There's a lot going on here, but I could live with everything- yes, even the striped fingerless gloves- if it hadn't been for the knee socks. Knee socks over jeans. Which obviously raises a lot of questions and exclamations. Mainly, "WHY, HEATH, WHY???", but also "Those are some really, really tight jeans". The latter, because of the suspicious lack of bulging under the knee socks. My skinniest jeans create bulges under actual footwear, like boots, so I shudder to think of poor Heath's circulation.

But, mainly, I shudder from the hideous outfit. Yuck.

Kate Bosworth

Besides finding it marginally amusing that Kate will soon star in a film titled "Laundry Warrior", which is apparently a pretty serious flick, I was confused by her outfit here.

I mean, why? Her shirt is perfectly lovely, yet she had to embellish it with those bizarre metallic bead things? And god, the sunglasses. Those are too cheap and tacky for a TODDLER, much less a sophisticated Hollywood trend-setter like Kate. I'm very disappointed, young lady...


Friday, January 4, 2008

Jennifer Connelly

Once again, this picture is a couple of days old, but I have to voice my doubts.

Because they're doubts, not screams of agony. I really love Jen, and I think she's almost rocking this fashion-forward outfit. But not quite. The coat is rather fetching, although I'm not sure about the bracelets...and then we get to the leggings. Ouch. Sheer leggings, especially with sharp-toed shoes like these, are just too much for me. If they had been tights, I would have loved this look. But no matter how hard I try, I can't bring myself to like semi-opaque leggings of any form, color, or style. I apologize to all of the legging lovers of the world.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Mariah Carey

I've heard tons about how this is her "signature look" and all, but seriously?

Nobody can look possibly look good in something this short and this tight and this low-cut. Usually people have the common sense to go for one of those attributes, or maybe two for an extra-sexy outfit. But when you're about to pop right out of your dress, it's usually a sign that you've taken it just a smidgen too far. Or, in Mariah's case, a heck-of-a-lot-more-than-a-smidgen too far.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

The winner/loser!

The results are in, ladies and gentlemen, and the readers of Fashion Poirot believe that Rihanna's outfit was the worst of 2007!

This outfit won with 30% of the votes. Click here for the original post, and thanks for reading and voting! Come back tomorrow for more fashion victims...