Julianne Moore

I love Julianne Moore. She's a great actress, and an absolutely stunning lady, especially when she sticks to her red-headed roots.

As far as I can recall, she always had a pretty hot figure, too. Not that you'd know from this dress.

I understand that not every dress has to be skin-tight, super-mini, and low-cut to be attractive...but this is verging on dowdy. And I hate the color combination. It's very 80's-beach-towel like. (Not that I still have any beach towels from the 80's. That would be...insane...)

Perhaps it's all on purpose. Let's start a rumor: (I want to be the first to say it): JULIANNE MOORE IS PREGNANT!!!

Hehehe. My evil work has been done.

Sarah Michelle Gellar

For some reason, I end up calling out Sarah M. Gellar quite often. I think she's quite cute and all, although she's kind of withered since Buffy, but I wish her nothing but the best. Really. I do.

According to this dress, some congratulations are in order too:

There must be some secret shop in Hollywood called "Pregnancy Rumors Couturier" or "Baby Bump Buzz Boutique" or something. No other shop would carry this. I don't know if she's pregnant. She certainly didn't look pregnant a few weeks back. Even if she is pregnant, this dress sucks.

That's putting it mildly. I get the whole nude-colored thing, but dress and shoes and clutch are taking it way, way, way too far. The bodice is much too short, giving you the impression that she took a defective, poofy, ruffled skirt and hitched it up so it would cover all of her bits. And then she went to the craft shop, and, in a fit of hormone-induced artfulness (because I simply refuse to admit that anybody would even imagine wearing this if they weren't pregnant) bought their cheapest ribbon and sewed it on haphazardly.

Whether or not S.M.G. is pregnant, this thing is giving her a huge, awkward lump of a stomach. You often hear that tight satin is hard to wear because it gives everyone awful bulges. Well, Sarah is obviously protesting that common piece of wisdom: loose satin can make you look just as terrible, if not worse!

Well, thank you, in that case. I'll remember to never, ever, ever, ever consider wearing nude-colored satin again.