Rihanna

Rihanna truly has multiple personalities when it comes to style. One day, she can wear a classy yet painfully stylish gown, and the next day...

It's a jumpsuit. A black, lacy, turtle-neck jumpsuit, and it's shorter than your average hot pants. And hot pants are very short to begin with. Of course she has the legs, etc., but this is too revealing. I would complain about it being a jumpsuit- and I do complain (it's a fricking JUMPSUIT!)- but then, what if it were a mini-dress? At least, this way she won't have any Britney moments, even if she will be dealing with some major camel toe the entire night.

I might be in the minority, but I love Rihanna's super-short hair, and her berry lips. Her shoes are fab, of course. But I can never forgive this belted, feathered- look at the sleeves!- monstrosity.

Dita Von Teese

Normally, I'm quite obsessed with Dita's style. I adore the retro look she's so committed to, and she always pulls it off with panache.


Well, almost always.

Sure, Dita has the legs to pull off something this short. But does that mean she should? No. And the combination of it being strapless and low-cut too gives it the look of glorified underwear. Not to mention that the dress itself is pretty awful. Pink bows are all very nice, but here they just seem to be limply scattered around that odd, crinkled bubble skirt. Dita's makeup and hair are flawless, as usual, and who am I to criticize a simple pair of black Louboutins? But the dress is a serious mistake in my book. Better luck next time, Dita!

Kylie Minogue

Please, please, please tell me this is some sort of photo-shoot.

Unfortunately, People said it was the unveiling of her new home furnishings line. But I refuse to believe that Kylie would actually go out in public dressed like this. Actually, in an ideal world, nobody would ever go out in public dressed in what seems to be a a very short, white, strapless romper composed entirely of feathers, cinched by a huge black belt. Kylie has a great figure and all, but this is simply ridiculous. It looks like lingerie marketed towards ostrich fetishists. It's terrifying, and I hope to god that Kylie was forced to wear this, whether by demonic forces, stylists, or demonic stylists. Sadly, she probably chose this herself, and so I must spend the entire day weeping and running away from computer screens, to avoid seeing this horror.

Jennifer Esposito

What was Jennifer thinking here?

Ombre things are hot right now, sure. And I love them- usually. But illusion netting? Seriously? Nobody, except for figure skaters (ON ICE) can ever pull that off. And the fabric seems to be sagging around her hips, giving her a bizarrely bottom-heavy appearance, in contrast to her tiny waist. The color combination is pretty horrid too. If she had been brave and simply gone for a very plunging neckline, I would have called it slutty and all, but I actually think it would have looked better. And what's with that hair? It looks totally fried. Maybe the part of her brain responsible for wise fashion decisions got fried as well...

Tyra Banks

Good god.

There isn't much to say. It's a shiny white jumpsuit. She has camel toe. Tyra herself looks glowing, I love the bangles, yada yada. But it's a SHINY WHITE JUMPSUIT. How can somebody look in the mirror and think, "Oh, my! I just love the way the fabric makes me look stumpy beyond belief by eating my feet!". Was she influenced by EW's recent photo gallery of the Sexiest Aliens Ever? Because Tyra would fit right in, wearing this outfit. She definitely looks like an alien, albeit not a very sexy one.

Kelly Rowland

In theory, this is a pretty nice look. I adore the shoes, and who can dislike short, gold, sequined dresses? And yet.

It's just so short and so low-cut and so sequined and so gold. It's literally blinding me. And sure, she has the body to pull it off...but it's crossing the line between "sexy" and "slutty" for me. Just a little bit. Or maybe not. For once, I'm truly undecided, because she looks so pretty...but it's so revealing...What do you think?

SAG Awards Terror: Sandra Oh

In the past couple of days, I've read loads about how this is a traditional Korean dress and all. All right. That's cool. But that doesn't make it magically become attractive in the least!

The color combination...the odd material...but most of all, the absolutely ill-fitting pepto-bismol colored bow! The dress is simultaneously dowdy and about to expose her chest completely. Is she pregnant? Seriously? Because everyone's pregnant nowadays, and that's the only reason I can think of for choosing such an unflattering shape of dress. And Angelina totally pulled it off; she looked fabulous in that brownish sheet she wore. But Sandra? Never, ever, ever do this again. Seriously.

Courtney Cox

This is...wow. I'm speechless.

Has Courtney Cox really just pulled a Britney? I mean, she is wearing a sheer, lacy shirt with just a bra underneath? I think she looks amazingly young and dresses nicely, for the most part, so how could she commit such a crime? Did she honestly not notice? Maybe her electricity was out or something. At least we can then blame the mysterious figure behind her for letting her out in front of the paparazzi wearing such a hideous thing. This is a fashion crime of the worst kind, and I hope that Courtney learns her lesson and doesn't commit it again.

Lucy Liu

Dear god.

What is there to say? The Valentino dress underneath is actually quite lovely. But..it's an "accordion wrap". It looks like the inside of a mammoth's large intestines, all pink and billowy. I'm sure it swishes and bounces unattractively whenever she dares to breathe.

I feel queasy and need to go lie down now. Ugh.

Claire Danes

Don't get me wrong, this dress is quite lovely.

But it's amazingly unflattering on Claire. This shade is the worst shade possible; it matches both her skin and her hair, and washes her out terribly. The length makes it rather dowdy, and the overlapping bodice looks just a little odd. So I applaud your effort, Claire, but go for something that doesn't make you look like a beige ghost next time. Please!