Grammy Awards Terror: Beyonce

I've never been too crazy about Beyonce's style, to be completely honest. She dresses well, for the most part, but it's always very monotonously tight, low-cut, and short. She never really takes many risks, and although she always looks good, she isn't a true "style icon" by my definition of the word.

Wait, let's back up to the "never really takes many risks" and "always looks good" part.

Whoa! Never mind, then, Beyonce! Keep doing what you were doing before! I never, ever implied that you should wear a costume from Dreamgirls On Ice to the Grammy's. I'm not sure that that show even exists, but I'm sure that it will, sooner or later, and this will definitely be a costume staple. The bodice starts out typical Beyonce- shiny, sparkly, tight, and low. But then the horrid, shiny, blue plastic tulle begins, and all hell breaks loose. I mean...those silvery gashes, and that horrible hem...Please, Beyonce, just go back to the old style. For the sake of the fashion world in general.

Mariah Carey

I've heard tons about how this is her "signature look" and all, but seriously?

Nobody can look possibly look good in something this short and this tight and this low-cut. Usually people have the common sense to go for one of those attributes, or maybe two for an extra-sexy outfit. But when you're about to pop right out of your dress, it's usually a sign that you've taken it just a smidgen too far. Or, in Mariah's case, a heck-of-a-lot-more-than-a-smidgen too far.

Nelly Furtado

Oh, dear. I guess she's a little on the spacey side, eh?



"Oh crap!" she seems to be saying, "I totally forgot about my shirt! I'll just pretend that my bra is a fashion statement."

Perhaps the extremely heavy, painful-looking thing around her neck cut off the circulation to her brain while she was getting dressed. Maybe we're lucky she didn't faint and cancel her performance.

On the other hand, maybe we're not so lucky after all.