Seth Green

As I occasionally do, I've singled out a male celebrity for today's arrest.

And it's not pretty.

This is so wrong that I feel overwhelmed. The porn-y mustache that appears to be slowly yet steadily eating his lip away...the mascara (possibly)...the mustache...It's all too much to bear. I need to go lie down for a couple of days now. Maybe someday this horrific image will leave my mind; I'm an optimist...

Julianne Moore

I love Julianne Moore. She's a great actress, and an absolutely stunning lady, especially when she sticks to her red-headed roots.

As far as I can recall, she always had a pretty hot figure, too. Not that you'd know from this dress.

I understand that not every dress has to be skin-tight, super-mini, and low-cut to be attractive...but this is verging on dowdy. And I hate the color combination. It's very 80's-beach-towel like. (Not that I still have any beach towels from the 80's. That would be...insane...)

Perhaps it's all on purpose. Let's start a rumor: (I want to be the first to say it): JULIANNE MOORE IS PREGNANT!!!

Hehehe. My evil work has been done.